“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” ―
Florence, October 5th 2018.
Tonight it’s just me, my computer, and an empty room. And that’s fine.
I left the US in April 2016. All of the sudden I lost my job (unfortunately I can’t give a lot of details but it was for money reasons – my workplace couldn’t afford to support my visa application anymore) and had to leave my home, my car, my clothes, my books, all my stuff, my friends and a person that I loved really much. And I had to leave it QUICKLY. I had around 14 days to pack almost 3 years of my life. A life that I never intended to lose.
Months, years have passed but I feel like I didn’t come to terms with what happened to me. I probably never will. I still feel like it was a huge injustice and I deserved more than anyone else to stay in the US.
Just a few days ago in Rome a woman I was having dinner with told me: “Girl, you’re still so pissed. You talk about it like it happened yesterday.” And it’s probably true.
This was the last day I spent in LA. My friends gave me a book full of pictures and memories; they made me feel very loved and like our bond was never going to disappear. I remember crying my eyes out and feeling so lost.
But I also realize I gained so much by being forced to leave LA.
I gained a sunrise in Rome in front of the Trevi Fountain.
The Thai elephants bathing in the mud.
Tons of dragon and passion fruits.
Sticky rice.
The colorful houses in Colmar.
My grandma kissing my grandpa on their 50th wedding anniversary.
A crazy party in Zurich. One of the happiest and saddest nights of my life.
Venice, with one of my greatest travel inspirations, Sara.
A lot of good food, I have to say.
Freaking out my first night alone in Cambodia.
The Angkor Wat trees.
And the floating villages.
Crying like a baby when I saw the Burj Khalifa from my hotel room.
Feeling so tiny inside the Sagrada Familia.
The blue water of Sardinia.
Our family’s garden.
The Horseshoe Bend.
A lot of rocks and cacti in Utah and Arizona.
A lot of neon lights in London.
Blue hours in Germany and golden hours in Italy.
I found out that I’m not the only crazy one that doesn’t like sandwiches: Danish people eat their panini open-faced. YES.
The temples in Ayutthaya.
And the white mosque in Abu Dhabi.
Matera and Apulia.
Laughing so hard on a road trip to Colorado.
I met so many new good friends along the way.
And even if I’m on the go most of the times, I still manage to get together with the old (important) ones.
Tonight, in Florence, I had a strong feeling I needed to stay home. So I did.
I don’t know how, but I started the night randomly checking Facebook, then reaching out to an old friend of mine who I met in LA, and ended up becoming the guest speaker at her upcoming retreat in Cancun, Mexico.
Apparently, life wanted and wants me to travel. All I desired was to keep biking around my neighborhood in LA, but life was like: NOPE. You’re gonna see a lot of things, experience new cultures and understand this world a little deeper.
I miss having a stable home. I’ve been living 3 weeks here, 1 month there… for 2 years now. It’s been fun, and scary, and exciting, and scary, and enlightening, and scary, and lonely at times. But that’s just fine for now.
Being able to work from literally anywhere as a social media marketing consultant and as a content creator has been quite an experience.
I feel like this universe has bigger plans for me than I have for myself. That’s what I thought the day I lost my job in the US too. I remember driving on the PCH from Malibu to LA; I had to stop my car because I couldn’t stop crying and see where I was going.
I looked at the ocean and I thought: there must be some reason that I don’t understand now, but one day I will.
So I keep wandering. Trying to learn some lessons along the way.
This is what I’ve learned so far:
- Always pack adapters.
- People’s kindness will make your day. So try to be kind to others too.
- Sometimes you’ll need to leave the camera home.
- There are gonna be moments of sadness and loneliness, and that’s absolutely fine. Just welcome them when they come.
- You’re probably gonna meet like-minded people on the way who will feel much more familiar to you than the friends you have at home, and that’s absolutely fine too.
- Music will always be a great companion.
- Experiences > owning/buying objects.
- The best trips will always be the impromptu ones.
- We seriously need to stop trying to obsessively control our lives. Going with the flow and trust life will bring amazing places. Believe me.
I’m sure one day I’ll be back in the US because I just feel that’s where I belong to, but, for now, I’m following my bliss all around Europe and the world.
“Grab me by my ankles I’ve been flying for too long.” Or maybe not.
I hope these travel notes can be inspiring for you. We are all in this together.
Much love,
Ire
